Match Preview

New season. New League. New kit?

After securing Promotion to the dizzying heights of the BBO Premier, Wheatley open their campaign with a bus trip out to Buckinghamshire to take on the kit clashing Chesham. Coached by World Cup Winning Rocky Clarke and Kat Merchant, Chesham enjoyed a strong 16/17 season in the BBOP, finishing fourth behind Swindon, Drifters and Slough, having won 11 and lost 9. With Wheatley being in a different league last year, we need to go back a few years for our last encounter, which was in the ill fated 15/16 season, which saw the Disgraced former captain lead his side to 22-0 and 10-7 losses. The 13/14 season provided slightly better reading, with the spoils shared at one win a piece (42-26 win and a 20-17 loss).

Wheatley will enter this fixture off the back of a strong Pre Season as well as encouraging Friendlies against Gosford All Blacks and Crowthorne and the boys will be fired up and ready to kick off the season.

Captain Alex Acklam is unavailable as he is attending a hen party (it's 2017, #Inclusive) and so will be missing from the stable front row triumvirate of last year and instead will consist of the solid and reliable Ezra Rees and Pete Mitchell, and after failing to secure a late deadline day move to his Favoured Littlemore, Alex Gabbidon will complete the trio. Matt Gibb slithers his way into the second row berth, whilst Nick Banton takes a leaf out of Andy Goode's book by stealthily missing Pre-Season before turning up when it matters. Dan Bland has struggled to overcome his weight issues, but has just passed the fitness test to get the number 6 shirt, whilst Lord Caillin Farquaad-Taylor catches the last plane out of Far Far Away Land to start in the 7 shirt. The same James Neal that found international fame over the summer as 'The guy who got out before the other lad scored 40 off a single over', puts the book deal and Hello magazine specials on hold to wear the number 8 shirt.

In the absence of Acklam, last years top scorer Aaron Laman will captain the side. Despite converting to the number 10 role over the summer, Jack Taylor's busy modelling schedule means Laman will start in his familiar number 9 shirt whilst Josh Hillsdon will reluctantly start at 10. Joe Hobdell is once again confused as to why his number 6 shirt looks like a 12, whilst Sanda Mpanza starts at 13, safe in the knowledge that Jordan Hook will be at 15 to make all of Mpanza's missed tackles. The back line is completed by gas Merchants Dan Rule and Joe Taylor, providing his sister lets him borrow her trousers again.

With the new league rules really encourage people to play rugby by stating that only 18 players can be named, Wheatley have once again decided that the best use of the reduced bench is to fill it with forwards (no matter what Butler thinks he can do). Player/Coach Simon 'Tam' Chadbone takes the larger of the 3 sub's shirts, alongside Jake Durbin and James Butler.

Ably presiding over the rabble will be Coach Geoff Ward and Water Boy Poochie will be on the look out for any loose change to fund his inevitable nuptials.

The first game of the season is always won by the team who are best prepared, organised and motivated and so Wheatley will make the journey across to Bucks confident they can make their intentions clear to the rest of the league.